Recorded live for Leith FM, the tale of the tiny calf Little Beef Cramps, previously only passed through the generations via word of mouth, is immortalised here in song.
Long ago, the Guides of Providence created an immortal herd of Highland Cows which roamed far and wide. But through the ages, the cows began leading increasingly decadent and unworthy lives. Unwilling to cast the herd aside cheaply, the Guides sent a final test for them - the tiny calf Little Beef Cramps. But the herd would not alter their lifestyles to look after the new arrival, abandoning him to the elements. On his own, Little Beef Cramps prospered under the protection of the Guides but the fate of the herd was sealed. Men came upon the them, quickly slaughtering the cows for food and clothing and not one survived. Meanwhile, Little Beef Cramps was growing lonely in his solitary wanderings and so the Guides created a new and immortal herd to accompany him in the hope that these cows would prove more worthy...
Amongst the Northern Lochs where the hills scrape the sky
There roamed a chosen herd with no time to die
Their souls corrupting all the life upon them blessed
So the Guides of Providence gave to them one last test.
One day a cow bore a calf of tiny size
And they all left him there to die
The calf, though tiny, had a spirit true and strong
And though it knew, it did not blame them for their wrong
Its small but rugged frame journeyed far across the land.
And his goodly nature kept him safe from all harm
But now I hear you ask "What happened to his herd?"
And here must lie a bitter word
Men cam from the south, along the pass
With rope, iron and no taste for grass
They rounded all from far and wide into their pen
Shot their bolt and no cow would ever moo again
Far away the calf now was fully grown
Although his sizer was still as though he just was born
His life was empty, he was saddened by his plight
And so with providence, he fell to sleep one night
He awoke to find a herd of his own kind
Upon an island out of time